December 2010HUMORSMS Jokes 2010

SMS Jokes 158

oOo

Isang araw nakatangap si Jose ng isang ransom letter. Nakasulat: “kapag hindi ka mangakong magbigay ng isang milyon. I swear, di na namin isosoli ang asawa mo!”
Sumulat pabalik si Jose: “Sorry pero hindi ko matutupad ang pangako ko pero sana tuparin mo ang sa iyo.”

oOo

TANONG: Ano ang hinaharap ng mga lalake sa babae?
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SAGOT: Matambok na nakaraan, Magandang hinaharap at Masikip na kinabukasan.

oOo

Christmas Wishes For You. . .
May God increase your happiness like the cost of gasoline and decrease your sorrows like the clothes of a bold star.

oOo

Genie: “Dahil pinalaya mo ko, may 3 wishes ka.”
Man: “Gawin mo ko rich pero di bayad tax; powerful pero di trabaho; notorious pero wala sabit.”
Genie: “Mula ngayon, kaw ay Jueteng Lord!”

oOo

Two drinking and one turns to the other and slurs, “Did you know that there are thousand of battered women?”
The other said quietly, “Really? I’ve been eating them plain all the time.”

oOo

Fairy: “Anu iyong tatlong kahilingan?”
Guy: “Gusto ko ng katawan tulad ni Arnold Schwarzneger.” (blink, natupad.)
Fairy: “Anu ang iyong pangalawang kahilingan?”
Guy: “Gusto ko ng mukha ni Tom Cruise. (blink, natupad.)
Fairy: “Anu ang pangtatlong kahilingan?”
Guy: “Gusto ko ng organ ng kabayo.” (blink, natupad, yun nga lang organ ng babaeng kabayo.

oOo

A promotion of panty shields. Model nagpoproject sa harapan ng camera, nagsalita…
“I’ve been using panty shields for three years  and now… IT’S STILL THERE!” (sabay bukas ng legs.”

Nagtutong na. Uy, palitan mo na!!

oOo

A woman with  husband and three children in tow went to a hair salon and loudly inquired, “How much do you charge for shampoo and a blow job?”

oOo

Reporter: “Kamusta na po ang jueteng sa bayang ito?”
Pulis: “wala nang jueteng sa lugar na ito.”
Reporter: “pero balita pong 5-7 ang tumama kahapon.”
Pulis: “ganun ba? dapat pala nabaligtad ko yung taya ko.”

oOo

** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike.

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A single mom to Kevin and Keziah. Sang's bestfriend. Young, Fresh and Delicious. Lol! Blogging since 2005.

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