December 2009HUMORSMS Jokes 2009

SMS Jokes 20

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Sen. Mar Roxas has officially filed his certificate of candidacy for vice president. Korina Sanchez is now an official candidate for Second Lady of the land!

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Gibo & Edu-lover boys
Noy/Mar-Mama’s boys
Gordon/Bayani-li’l boys
Villar/Loren-Tondo boy & Caca girl
Erap/Binay-kanto boys &
Jamby…I’m a Boy!

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MISIS: Honey, wala ka bang napapansin sa akin?
MISTER: Ano yun?
MISIS: Salatin mo, wala na akong panty. Hi..Hi..Hi..
MISTER: Hayan.. Hayan ang ginawa mo.. Tapos, angal ka nang angal pag kinabagan.

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GIRL: Goodnite kiss naman (sabay pikit)
Boy hinalikan si girl sa pusod.
GIRL: Bakit naman kiss sa pusod?
BOY: Tiningnan ko lang kung ano una mong ibubuka, kung ang mga mata mo o mga legs mo!

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BOY: necking tayo, hon.
GIRL: ayoko. sige, ibalik mo na yang neck mo sa pantalon mo.

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“Dear Mr. Grim Reaper,

So far this year you have taken away my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, favorite actor Patrick Swayze, & favorite actress FarrahFawcett.

Just so you know…

My favorite politicianis Ate Gloria!

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The only trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
you never get a chance to prove it!

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A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband said, “Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard… it almost hurts!”

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Phonebook Dilemma:
Why are there no phone books in China?
Because there are so many Wing’s and Wong’s, that they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number!

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Don’t know if this is just a coincidence…
2007 – Year of the Chicken – Bird Flu devastates parts of Asia
2008 – Year of the Horse – Equine Influenze decimates Aussie’s race
2009 – Year of the Pig – Swine Flu kills thousands of pigs aroun the globe
Has anyone else noticed this?
It gets worse…
Next year…

2010 – Year of the Cock!
Just wondering, what could possibly go wrong?

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A blonde was resting after having given birth. She asked for ice. The nurse got some and was surprised as the blonde placed them between her breasts. When the nurse asked why, the blonde said, “That’s to keep the milk fresh.”

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A guy preparing to go hunting accidentally shot himself in the penis with his double-barreled shotgun. After surgery, he found that the doc has done a marvelous job.

As he got ready to go home, the doc gave him a business card and saying, “This is my brother’s card. I’ll make an appointment for you to see him.”

“Is he also a doc?” the guy asks.

“No,” doc replies, “he’s a flutist. He’ll show you where to put ur fingers so u dont piss in ur eyes!”

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Virgins indulge in sex for Curiosity.
Prostitutes for money.
Widows for remembering old days.
Wives for duty.
Pure sex is possible only in adultery. :-*

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Did you hear about the porn actress who is quitting films?
She doesn’t like some of the parts she’s been ask to play with!

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Girl: Tita, make a wish na and blow the candles on the cake bago to maubos.
Tita: Hindi bale, pag nakuhako ang wish ko, hindi ko na kailangan ng kandila!

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TODAY’S QUOTE:
Finishing your college course is like a woman delivering a baby.
Everyone appreciate the outcome but no one knows exactly how many times you were fucked in the process!

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Addicted and Obsessed, The A to Z of Boobs!
A is for Awesome
B is for Bouncing
C is for Creamy
D is for Dark
E is for Euphoric
F is for Fake
G is for GiIto na marahil ang huling txt ko sau…..tnx for ur time, lgi ka sna mag-iingat…..salamat sa pagmamahal…lst txt ko na to…matutulog ka na…..bukas gantic
H is for Hangers
I is for In-Your-Face
J is for Jiggly
K is for Killer
L is for Licking
M is for Milky
N is for Nippy
O is for Orgasm
P is for Pienmn ulit ha? Txt txt uli tyo bukas…gud nite mahal…mwah! heheherce
Q is for Quality
R is for Ripe
S is for Sucking
T is for Tiny
U is for Undersize
V is for Virtual
W is for Wet
Y is for Yummy
Z is for Zat’s All Folks!

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ALL ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

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A single mom to Kevin and Keziah. Sang's bestfriend. Young, Fresh and Delicious. Lol! Blogging since 2005.

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