December 2009HUMORSMS Jokes 2009

SMS Jokes 22

GIRL1: Nakipaghiwalay na ko sa boyfriend ko.
GIRL2: Bakit ka naki pag-break?
GIRL1: Gago talaga yon. Maganda at sexy daw ako sabay patay nung ilaw.

* * * * *

Woman at 18 is lyk a football where 22 men run after her..
at 28,she is lyk a basketball,where 10 men run after her..
at 38,she is lyk a golf ball where 1man is after her..
and at 48 she’s lyk a tennis ball,where 2 men are pushing her to the other..

* * * * *

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, “Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?”
“Don’t Miss me, mister.”
“Well, then, you better make it thirteen.”

* * * * *

A Naughty Poem

Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs
And what’s between!

Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly.
Bend over Babe,
‘Cause here comes my willy.

I like your style,
I like your class
but most of all
I like your ass!

* * * * *

KOrean: NO bOdy nO bOdy but yOu.
America: I want yOur bOdy your body nOt yOu.
FilipinO: NO mOney nO mOney pasmO!

* * * * * *

Muy buenos dias. 2010 Political Campaign slogans:

Manny Villar:
“sipag at tiyaga”
Gibo:
“galing at talino”
Erap:
“Erap para sa mahihirap”
Noynoy:
“Si tatay at si nanay.” 😀

* * * * *

Sa beach.
BOY: Honey, nakapasok ba sayo o nasa sand?
GIRL: Uhm.. nasa buhangin.
BOY: Umphh… o ayan, nakapasok na ba sayo o sa buhangin.
GIRL: Yan, nasa kin na.
BOY: Uhmmm…lagay mo na lang kaya ulit sa buhangin.

* * * * * *

Let’s name your legs.
The right one is Thanksgiving
and the left one is Christmas.
Can I come between the holidays?

* * * * *

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

* * * * *

“Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a Breathanalyzer? asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.
“Well, it’s a bag that tells ya when you’ve drunk too much,” replied the equally wasted gent.
” Ah, hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years and years now!”

* * * * *

ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

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A single mom to Kevin and Keziah. Sang's bestfriend. Young, Fresh and Delicious. Lol! Blogging since 2005.

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