December 2009HUMORSMS Jokes 2009

SMS Jokes 27

Private thoughts:
“Gaano man kaganda,Kabait,AtKatalin0ni Jinkee…Talo pa rin sya ng malanding tulad ko.”- Krista

* * * * *

A woman kisses his balls every morning to make his putter rise.
Good Luck, Mr. Golfer! Fore-play na!

* * * * * *

A Filipino family Rcived d Coffin of their dead father sent by their aunt based in San Francisco USA wid a letter in d Coffin –

I am sending Dad’s body & w/ it d Gifts u had askd 4. Under hs body R 12 packs of Chocolates,10 packs of Gums & 8 packs of Almonds.

Dad s wearing a pair of Nike shoe 4 Chito & a Baseball hat 4 Peter. Dr R 2 Bags 4 Maira & Rachel in each arm. Father s wearing 6 Shirts & Socks 4 d kids & d 4 Jockey underwears he s wearing R 4 Jr. Harold’s ring is on d left hand & Ronald/Bernard’s watches on each arms. If dr s any thing I missed out,Pls let me know bcoz mother s also vry sick. Bye 4 now. Lots of luv… Ur Aunt Julie!!:-P

* * * * *

A cat tried to get a sausage out of the river and got its paws wet.He then saw a bigger sausage. Trying to get it, he fell into the river.
Moral of the Story:
The bigger the Sausage is, the wetter the Pussy!

* * * * *

Chu, Bu & Fu were good Chinese friends. On their visit to the U.S…
Chu decided to call himself Chuck.
Bu decided to call himself Buck.
Fu decided to return to China!

* * * * *

Pharmacist arrives at work to find a frightened-looking man against the wall. “What’s wrong with him?”the pharmacist asks his clerk. “He wanted cough syrup but I cudn’t find any, so I gav him laxative.”

“Laxative won’t cure a cough.” yells the pharmacist. “Sure they will. Look, he’s afraid to cough.”

* * * * *

BOY: Hi, Laura!
(sabay yakap at halik!)
Ang tagal nating di nagkita. Ang laki ng pinagbago mo.
GIRL: Di ako c Laura.
BOY: O, pati pangalan mo nagbago rin.

* * * * *

A pscychotherapist was not getting any patient. He soon found out why.
Under his name was the sign which reads…PSYCHO THE RAPIST!

* * * * * *

A Friend’s Prayer:
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be short to scratch it!

* * * * *

Q: Why is PGMA’s government like a prostitute?
A: We’re always getting screwed and we have to pay for it!

* * * * *

A worried Mom gives her son condoms before a hot date. Son laughs, hugs her & says, “Mom, i don’t need that. I’m dating JAKE! Take it easy, CHUPAAN LANG TO!”

* * * * *

Wag mo naman BASTOSIN si PGMA!
Kahit ba
usngal ang ipin,
pangit at
may asawang baboy,
eh presidente pa rin
natin yan, kahit peke!

* * * * * *

Mabuti pa
ang mga
pwede silang
lang sa
malaki na
ang kita!

* * * * *

Bellboy enter a guest room. Angry, the lady guest said, “Shouldn’t you knock before entering? What if I’m still undressed?”

“No need to worry about that ma’am. I always peep before entering!”

* * * * * *

ALL of the above SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

What's your reaction?

In Love
Not Sure
A single mom to Kevin and Keziah. Sang's bestfriend. Young, Fresh and Delicious. Lol! Blogging since 2005.

    You may also like


    Anu Itu?

    Sino nakakaintindi ng Nihonggo sa inyo? Alam nyo ba meaning neto? Ako alam ko pero ...

    Leave a reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    SMS Jokes 31

    “Pareho lang kaming MASAMA. Ang pinagkaiba lang namin : Sa akin, ugali.. Sa kanya, mukha!” ...

    SMS Jokes 30

    Kapag walang bolpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. ...

    SMS Jokes 29

    Question: Bakit galit na galit si Krista Ranillo sa Simbahan? Answer: Kasi laging sinasabi “LOVE ...

    SMS Jokes 28

    This Christmas, may you be… showered by men or be showered by men or be ...